Uh-oh. Not a mistake though.

"Uh-oh" was the caption of the picture I sent to my husband. We bought this amazing 80% cacao dark chocolate bar from Cusco during our honeymoon a few months ago. In one sitting, I finished the whole bar. But it wasn’t just about the “one sitting” though, and it wasn’t (so much) about the Peruvian exotic chocolate bar that I really said Uh-oh. I realized I’ve been spending weeks, and days, and hours, and every waking minute to go through my students’ college applications. Every recommendation letter I read, I learned a bit more about them. Every essay, every activity on the common app would blow my mind by telling me more about their incredible personalities and their "out-of-this-world" past experiences.

With every essay I read, I would glide through a parallel universe; imagining them being so little, so small; only worrying about what game they would play in the playground, not even aware that one day they would be applying to college and that I would be reading their essays. I could picture them asking so many "why" questions to their parents and teachers, struggling through their early teenage years, celebrating when things went their way, and sorrowing about not getting their expected SAT scores.

I wish I had all the answers. But I don’t. I wish I could guarantee them a spot. But I can’t. I wish they can see all the potential they have within themselves. And I really hope they will. Because in a year from now, I know they will be far away probably trying to explain where and WHAT Paraguay is, or stressed out about their mid-terms. And I will be here in warm Asuncion, with Charlie baby, commenting on their Facebook status, telling them how much I miss them, and finishing another (hope so, exotic) chocolate bar while proofreading essays and going:

"Oh-yeah; they've made it." 

                           

Los lazos verdaderos no son de sangre sino de lealtades.

Un sábado como hoy, exactamente dos semanas atrás, estaba siendo llevada en ambulancia a un hospital por primera vez en mi vida. Una cantidad de personas vestidas con batas blancas gritando a mi alrededor, preguntándome qué me había pasado. Sin comprender si era un sueño o la realidad yo gritaba y lloraba, pero nadie parecía entender lo que intentaba decir. Miraba alrededor y el número de rostros desconocidos, con miradas lejanas y distraídas sólo aumentaba. ¿Qué estoy haciendo acá? Me preguntaba entre sollozos. Finalmente una enfermera al percatarse de que no estaba hablando en portugués me dijo que estaba en Curitiba, Brasil y que fui atropellada por un auto.

Antes de eso yo no sabía en qué país estaba, qué día era, o qué había pasado. Lo único que sabía era que quería verle a mi novio. Cadê meu noivo?! gritaba cuando al fin entendí que no tenía por qué hablar en español y mucho menos en inglés. Sentía un dolor inmenso en la pierna derecha, y cuando intentaron sacarme la camilla de madera en la que fui llevada desde la ambulancia grité del dolor. Me quedé acostada sobre esa camilla fría de madera, me llevaban a distintos lugares a hacerme estudios. Si esto fuese un rompecabezas creo que nunca lograría terminarlo, porque por algún motivo mi cerebro decidió no guardar casi ningún recuerdo del accidente. En mi mente, es como si fuese que nunca hubiese pasado, pero las marcas en el cuerpo me dicen lo contrario.

Después de lo que parecía ser una eternidad de moverme de aquí para allá, colocar anestesia, hacerme tomografías, radiografías, etcétera, finalmente vi una cara conocida. Mi amor. El que estuvo ahí en todo momento, el que presenció el accidente, el que intentó salvarme de la imprudencia de un individuo al volante, quién no vaciló para seguir acelerando después de tener mi cara en frente suyo destruyendo así el parabrisas de su auto. Una persona que en vez de parar y auxiliar a su víctima, se vistió de indiferencia y siguió su camino. Sin embargo, ahí llegaba mi ángel, con su mirada preocupada y su sonrisa de "todo va a estar bien". Me agarró de la mano y me besó suavemente en la frente. Tenerle cerca mío era absolutamente todo lo que quería y necesitaba en ese momento. Y en ese preciso momento entendí lo que significa amar a una persona en las buenas y en las malas.

Hoy, después de dos semanas de ese accidente, al fin aprendí una valiosa lección. Por más de que no entienda el por qué de ese accidente, y por qué, lastimosamente, pasaron tantas cosas que me sacaron muchas lágrimas este 2016, hay una cosa de la que nunca me tengo que olvidar. De agradecer. De agradecerle a Dios por haberme guardado y cuidado por sobre todas las cosas. De agradecerle a mi amor, mi familia, mi mayor bendición. Y de agradecerles a esos pocos pero valiosos amigos que estuvieron apoyándome en mis peores momentos. Ustedes saben quiénes son. Ustedes son los que marcan la diferencia en este mundo lleno de indiferencia. 

A veces aquellos que menos tienen, son los que más dan.

De chica solía escuchar esta frase, y me preguntaba si era realmente cierto. Una época en la que pasaba casa por casa a pedir donaciones para una organización en la que trabajaba como voluntaria, me di cuenta de que aquellas casas más grandes y lujosas pertenecían a los que menos donaban. Quizás por el miedo a la inseguridad de las calles, apenas nos hablaban a través de las rejas para luego donar poco o nada. Sin embargo, las casas más pequeñitas y con fachada humilde pertenecían a personas que nos recibían con sonrisas y elogios, y donaban más de lo que podíamos imaginar.

Ahora “de grande”, compruebo que esta frase es una realidad. Aquellos que menos tienen son los que más disfrutan al compartir con los demás lo poco que tienen. Quizás, los que “menos tienen” en relación a cosas materiales, se dan cuenta de que no es necesario aferrarse a un objeto que en algún momento de esta vida puede desaparecer. Todo en esta vida tiene una fecha de expiración.

Si bien conozco y respeto a varias personas que con sudor y sacrificio hoy disfrutan de bendiciones económicas, lo que más admiro de ellas es no se olvidan de donde vinieron. Aquellas personas que no se olvidan de cómo empezaron, y que ayudan a quienes de manera similar intentan salir adelante empezando “desde abajo” son realmente admirables.

Por otra parte, aquellas personas que sienten que el mundo les debe algo, y que piensan que necesitan más comodidades, más casas, más autos para ser felices, creo que deben de reflexionar en ese pensamiento y agradecer por todo lo que tienen ahora, y si es posible, compartir. Porque por más de que muchos intenten encontrar satisfacción y felicidad en lo material, todos sabemos y somos testigos de que todo lo material se desvanece, entonces esa “felicidad” que uno cree poder obtener en algo pasa a ser momentánea, no perdura.

Gracias le doy a Dios y a la vida por permitir que en algún momento duerma bajo un techo en el cuál la familia tiene más de lo que necesita, y bajo otro en donde la familia, según nuestra sociedad, “necesita” mucho más de lo que tiene. Gracias doy porque teniendo diferentes perspectivas puedo elegir el camino que quiero seguir, sabiendo que lo que tengo no define quién soy hoy o seré mañana. Sabiendo que quizás siga habiendo personas que no quieran dar ni un poco de lo que tienen, pero yo decido ser de las que quiere dar por más que sea muy poco lo que tenga.

“Porque donde esté tu tesoro, allí estará también tu corazón” Mateo 6:21 

No es una despedida, simplemente estoy agradecida :)

Muchos me preguntaron si esto era una despedida o qué lo que era, jajaja. Bueno, estos fueron 7 días de dar gracias, un "desafío" que me hizo Ally, una muy querida ex compañera de cuarto y universidad en USA. Hoy cumplí con "mi parte del desafío" y si bien no creo necesario publicar todos los santos días vía redes sociales las razones por las cuales estamos agradecidos, si creo que es importante hacernos de hábito el estar agradecidos.

En estos 7 días me di cuenta de que tengo tanto por agradecer, personalmente una semana no tiene suficientes días para agradecer por todas y cada una de las personas que fueron y son parte de mi vida y de alguna u otra manera contribuyeron con mi crecimiento personal, espiritual y profesional. Espero continuar con este hábito de agradecer cada día por esta vida. Una vez escuché que los hábitos crean costumbres y las costumbres crean tradiciones. Algún día espero que este hábito se convierta en una tradición familiar, pero más allá de eso, que se convierta en una actitud de corazón.

Por este día, gracias Dios :)

From them I learned all Disney songs and how to bake cookies :)

Over the last few days I got to talk to a lot of people about my experiences as a resident assistant at college. I always looooved that position, but it wasn’t until later that I realized how many people I got to know well during my years as an RA, what an amazing staff I had both years, and the huge impact that that job had and has in my life.

Far more than a job, it was a lifestyle. My first year as an RA I had residents not only from the US but also a bunch of international students. One of my first days, I remember stopping by the rooms to say Hi and check on the girls… I stopped to say Hi to a girl from Korea, it was like 2pm, but she was sleeping and asked me why would I wake her up in the middle of the night?! Haha… because of the time difference, she wasn’t over her jetlag and I happened to wake her up at 3am her time in Korea.

Sometimes I was so much of a sweet mamma, where I would cook for the girls anything they wanted, would give them milk for their cereal, would talk to them when they couldn’t fell asleep, or would help them with homework. But other times (most of the times) I would prank my residents with other residents. I would hack their facebook account, change their alarm clocks, put their undies in their freezers, and some other thing I can’t tell because it was hard enough to come up with creative but funny ideas that wouldn’t really hurt anybody and would just make us all laugh. The down side of that is that eventually people figured out that I was pranking them, and even when I didn’t do anything I got pranked back.

One of the best parts of my job was organizing wing events, we could be as creative as we wanted with them, and my wing events went all the way from having Disney nights to making brunch with the girls. Yet, the best part of my job was getting to really know the residents in my hall, my building, and the Res Life staff community.

Each person I got to meet shared a piece of their heart and lives with me, and it’s been an honor to be a part of their lives as well. Now as the time goes by, I see how our lives change and most of us depart to different destinations… but all the laughter and joy, all the good memories from that amazing experience will always stay with me. 

How on earth do you end up HERE?

Ever since I came back to Paraguay a lot of people asked me "what are you doing here?" "Why did you come back?" But today, at work we got to ask these questions to a very extraordinary couple. I'm still not sure whether what happened today was real or not... haha…

Picture this,

We were at the office, getting ready to interview someone for a teaching position, not to mention that we were a little crabby about not having internet and some other technical difficulties. Anyhow, all in a sudden a lady walks in, not sure if she was at the right place, at the right time... we offered her a sit and took our seats as well in order to begin the interview. I asked her to help me pronounce her last name, and she gave a really particular nickname, something in the lines of Mrs. Doubtfire. Then she pulled out her degree certificate and proceeded by telling us all about her experiences as a teacher and her methods of teaching. I honestly lost the sense of time as she was talking, and I found myself and colleagues delighted by her stories. In the middle of her introduction, her husband comes by and we pulled a chair for him as well. I had a sheet of paper that we prepared to ask her questions, but when she was done talking we realized that she answered all the questions without us even asking her anything. 

All in a sudden it turned out to be a privilege to have this person in front of us… all in a sudden we were hoping she would choose to be part of our team and be the teacher we were looking for. The extraordinary thing about this whole story is that this lady came from the U.S. six years ago to Paraguay, without knowing Spanish, knowing anybody in South America and leaving absolutely everything she called home back in the U.S. She is now retired here in Paraguay, and got married to a French man who also came to Paraguay a few years ago. They both seem to be madly in love and one of the happiest couple I’ve met until now.

This couple is honestly among the group of the most inspiring people I’ve met so far. An American lady in her 50s that followed a little voice telling her to go to South America while she was sitting at church; and a French man who –we are yet to hear his story – married this wonderful woman and plays the pipe.

I love it when we come across people like this, it doesn’t happen that often… but when it happens it’s awesome! It also helps me to put in perspective what are the thousand reasons why I’m here in Paraguay… but most important, they taught me that it doesn’t matter how old we are, we can always take courage and do what we are called to do and be who we are called to be. 

Value the invaluable!

If there is something I noticed and miss a lot EVERY DAY of my "small town life" is how safe I felt always when walking outside. In the big city I live now I'm constantly reminded of not wearing jewelry, not taking anything valuable with me, not going to places when is already dark and by myself, and locking my house every time I enter or leave. All this things I didn't have to think about before, suddenly I need to think about again. I'm also amazed of how much people talk about finances and getting "new stuff" here. Is it because now I have a real job? Is it because I'm out of college? Or has it always been this way? 

Anyways, the point is that today something changed in me when I was walking to the office. Suddenly, I realized how safe I was regardless of how unsafe everyone tells me this place is. Yeah, I don't have the latest cellphone, computer, nice jewelry or neither a car... nor I really need any of that. During college, whenever I had a little bit of money I began planning a trip somewhere in the U.S. or the world. A lot of times I traveled on mission trips, and many times were just vacations on holidays... but each trip and travel I had taught me so much about myself, about this world, and about the sovereignty of God.

Therefore I have nothing to be afraid when walking outside, people can only take away from me material things I may have, but no one can ever take away from me everything I learned. Nobody can take away from me the knowledge I have acquired all of these years, and that is far more valuable than any material things we can possess. 

Although it is so easy to put a value on the things we can see and touch, sometimes those things we cannot see or touch are far more valuable.

"Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." - John 20:29